Four Theories That Explain Family Relations Phenomena

            There are four different types of theories that explain family relations phenomena. What is a phenomenon? A phenomenon is something observable we can see happening. We have the conflict theory, the system theory, and the exchange theory.

            First, we will discuss the conflict theory. The conflict theory deals with those who are in power that want to stay in power. The definition of power is being able to influence. There is an assumption that men have the power in a relationship. That is not always accurate. With conflict there usually ends up being someone with the upper hand and starts pounding on the other person. We can see this among social classes. Those in a higher social class might have more of an advantage because they have more resources. Something that is interesting when looking at this theory is that it is not natural for two people to come together and work together to come to a solution that works for them both, so when this happens it is truly a miracle. Can you think of a time when you were able to come to a conclusion in a debate with someone and you both were able to reach a solution that worked for the both of you? Please share it below!

            An example of conflict theory is when a man makes more money than his wife and she want, to spend money on something. It can be as simple as groceries, and he says that she cannot do that even though they have a joint banking account. They have decided that they will have one account and instead of having a “us, we, and ours” mentality he has a “me, my, and mine” mentality. Therefore, instead of her being able to use those finances that he has made to support his family and her buying things to support the family (like food, bills, diapers, and whatever a family may need to survive) she has to ask his permission to buy those things. Instead of him seeing her as an equal, he is using the conflict theory and exercising power over her.

            System theory is another explanation of a family phenomenon. The system theory includes rules that influence each other. These are usually unspoken rules. Through observation and experience you learn those unspoken rules. You can also see the roles and expectations that come. For example, girls are typically seen as the ones to play with Barbies, Polly Pockets, watch princess movies, while boys’ roles typically consist of thinking boogers, bugs, and spiders are cool.

            I have found that my role in the family is to be the peacemaker. My teacher asked, “How did you get there?” When he initially asked, I wanted to say because I was naturally put there. It’s like the role fell upon me. Many people who are also the peacemaker in their families felt this way as well. As I pondered more, I realized that it also includes observation and experience. Having been a peacemaker once, little by little I get more experience and get to be the peacemaker more. This can be as simple as solving a problem between my little brother and sister. My sister will want to watch Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse and my brother will want to watch PJ Masks and will start arguing about it so then I can step in and we can settle on either watching Zig and Sharko, or taking turns and they each can watch an episode of the show they want to watch.

            Then we have the exchange theory. This is also known as the “you owe me” theory. This is not seen as equality but as if I give you something then you will give me something. Sadly, this theory gathers more proof when we look at the divorce rate. Many people help us see this theory when they have the mentality of “If I’m getting plenty of the stuff I like and not having to pay so much then I’ll keep this relationship going.” An example of this might be if my roommate doesn’t want to date a guy anymore because she is putting more time and effort into their relationship that he does.

            Finally, we have the symbolic interaction theory. This theory views humans primarily as cognitive creatures who are influenced and shaped by their interaction experiences. An example of this would be an interaction between people almost with an alternative motive. For example, if a guy comes over to a girl’s apartment and sticks around he might really be there because he likes her and wants to ask her out. He will grow closer to her and want to be her friend, but also for that relationship to grow into something more. She starts flipping her hair, offering him food, and laughing at all his stupid jokes. Based on their interactions he will be encouraged to ask her out on a date.

            There are many types of theories and they can be very interesting. Maybe while reading this you have thought of an experience that you have had that might explain one of these theories. Please share it below!